tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38223509356494607042012-02-09T11:10:38.432-08:00On a magic journey to find meaning.Aninoreply@blogger.comBlogger401100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-66238751724220875392012-02-09T11:10:00.000-08:002012-02-09T11:10:38.446-08:00

I was so tired and sleepy.  I barely remember the details.  I had been up the past few nights until 1:30 am or so and it caught up to me.  I felt like a zombi, reiki flowed from my hands to my heart and throat chakra.  Ugh, redo needed.

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-54217695138382228522012-02-07T13:46:00.000-08:002012-02-07T13:46:50.335-08:00

I've kept the experience to myself, marinating in it.  It was surreal.  A bright flash, like the flash of a camera or a bulb going out, exploded in my mind's eye.  It brought me out of my meditative state. But in that instant all of my anxiety and nervous energy in my heart chakra dissipated.  https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-42270819665586961382012-02-04T23:07:00.000-08:002012-02-04T23:07:06.202-08:00

 http://wikitravel.org/upload/shared//thumb/b/be/KeizersgrachtReguliersgrachtAmsterdam.jpg/400px-KeizersgrachtReguliersgrachtAmsterdam.jpg I was in such a hormonal funk the summer before I turned 29.  Postpartum hell after a series of miscarriages.  Even a road trip up the Pacific Coast and a visit to two European cities couldn't cheer me up.  Even when I stopped believing in God, I had a

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-35029806514159384692012-02-04T22:56:00.000-08:002012-02-04T22:56:32.497-08:00

I let my MIL's negative energy affect me. While I don't think I was sending her negative energy, I wasn't sending her love and light.  I just wanted to be out of her presence, I created a wall around myself and avoided her.  I suppose I expected more from myself... She's very clingy in a strange way.  She was spending all day with my husband and the kids while I worked (he took the week off

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-55180722840246572672012-02-03T23:06:00.000-08:002012-02-03T23:06:38.360-08:00

I needed to work on the fear involved in delivering my twins vaginally.  I was so afraid, then, that my body  shivered... I kept thinking, "how the hell am I going to push out 2 babies".  I plan on delivering my newest child naturally with no epidural in a birthing center.  I feel very confident that this baby is going to come out in 20 minutes.  I actually see him during my meditations and we've

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-81123414512039332242012-01-30T22:22:00.000-08:002012-01-30T22:22:24.165-08:00

http://www.anamcara.com/images/main-1.jpg My goodness I was a poor communicator.  I couldn't help but replay certain key events over again, but, as I am today as 32 year old me.  It didn't make me feel bad, I didn't do this in a judgy sort of way, but more like an imaginary do-over.  And I'll tell ya, the divine consciousness is testing me!!  Lately, I've had a lot of external strife around me

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-63453100412945428612012-01-27T11:23:00.000-08:002012-01-27T11:28:06.586-08:00

Day 5 -- I was super exhausted and passed out fairly quickly. Day 6 -- My goodness gracious I was a hot insecure mess!  I almost didn't recognize that girl.  She put up with a lot of crap.  She was uncertain, unsure and operated from fear and lack of self confidence.  Her heart needed healing. Interesting observation, I was looking at someone who didn't feel like me today. She wasn't mindful,

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-2610284926782390792012-01-25T22:53:00.000-08:002012-01-25T22:57:13.720-08:00

I was transported to my first day of high school.  Talk about anxiety.  So much nervous energy.  So much uncertainty.  I saw myself then and felt myself as now and realized, worry/stress/anxiety, none of it matters.  The present moment is all we have.  Vibrating in that kind of energy does me no good.  I didn't judge myself, the 14 year old version, but she gave me perspective. High school

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-54306306356387349932012-01-24T10:05:00.000-08:002012-01-24T10:05:52.511-08:00

I started feeling a little guilty, about wanting balance and chilling.  I could feel my masculine energy trying to get out of balance with the feminine, constantly to be in the "doing."  I kept thinking:  so many moms of 3 kids work FT and they can totally do it, why don't I just join them?  Well, who cares why anyone else does it, it's none of my business!  Maybe they have no choice!  Maybe

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-62869061301625042302012-01-23T11:32:00.000-08:002012-01-23T11:32:36.417-08:00

We're having family visit.  One person in particular is not a very happy person, she has moods where's quite unhappy and bitter.  She is also very pushy about her views, in a way that isn't exactly respectful.  I find her tiring.  Her energy can be draining. Last night, I reacted a bit, just a bit to her antics.  And I shouldn't have.  I want to be in a place where I don't need my hands on my

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-75474484382235491692012-01-22T22:54:00.000-08:002012-01-22T22:54:24.424-08:00

I just knew that I was supposed to pick up the phone and call my bff.  So I did.  The conversation was authentic and open as always, but I had moments of profound clarity.  Two key points kept going through my mind: Add chttp://legitamystic.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/unconditional-love.jpgaption God/universe/divine consciousness supports us.  The divine is not some psychopath that enjoys

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-49950795828698466612012-01-22T21:17:00.000-08:002012-01-22T21:25:46.914-08:00

Easy.  It was easy.  I think I expected fear and strife.  But there was none of that.  I saw myself and told her, you are strong, you are powerful, and this is just a life experience and it does not define you.  And it resonated.  She felt it and I felt it. Afterwards, it's as if the world was a bit brighter.  Everything was a shade more happy.  I'm more confident and sure. The only remaining

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-21539973797635809442012-01-20T09:38:00.000-08:002012-01-20T09:38:34.796-08:00

http://media.salon.com/2010/10/when_i_started_to_believe_in_ghosts-460x307.jpg I anticipated this year being difficult, but it wasn't.  Once again, images of details that I had forgotten came flooding back to my memory. I was delighted that I wasn't scared or nervous.  I saw 9 year old me, she was confused, her heart and throat chakra constricted.  I activated the emotional sign, and fell

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-67797907122805703502012-01-18T09:37:00.000-08:002012-01-18T09:37:02.335-08:00

I did my Reiki II, it involved an entire day with my Reiki Master and an attunement.  But there's also actual work involved, for the next 30 days I must send energy back to a year of my life (it doesn't have to be consecutive).  Healing my past, means healing my present.  I love that Reiki is so incredibly tangible, there's actual "doing" involved versus sitting and reading a book.  I'm a do-er.

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-56763491428670978362012-01-11T01:57:00.000-08:002012-01-11T01:57:35.183-08:00

So much has happened recently that I've been marinating in the experience and reflecting without writing.  But today I received gentle reminders to blog. My partner (V) strictly reads financial news, sports, etc.  Today over dinner, I told him that my life is exactly what I wanted.  V replied, "You manifested your desires?  I noticed you haven't blogged in months.  I check your blog everyday."  I

Aninoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-50719344689800536332011-11-01T11:39:00.000-07:002011-11-01T11:40:45.188-07:00

I was invited to be part of a psychic workshop, for a lack of better words.  Essentially, Salsa had seen a hypnotherapist (Doc).  One of Doc's patients through hypnotherapy was able to connect to the divine light and be a channel.  In other words, in this state of mind, she can scan someone's body, communicate with divine energy/spirit guides and tell a person about their physical, emotional and

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-46115140555519035902011-10-24T11:12:00.000-07:002011-10-24T11:14:06.809-07:00

Saturday nights meditation was surreal.  I had a clear sign to be on the look out for a full moon, reddish color, and lightning bolts.  I have no idea what any of this means.  But I'm on the lookout. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7plF76zh2K0/TVAx5YHl3cI/AAAAAAAAAXc/aSWJtlAsI6c/s1600/love.jpg Later that night I had a dream about my dad and my good friend's father (good friend:  Anakin) who recently

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-88048770900514119682011-10-24T11:02:00.000-07:002011-10-24T11:02:29.063-07:00

http://indiegirlloveadventures.com/storage/HappySad.JPG?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1301677767847 It's so easy to dwell in the negative, sometimes I think I'm an expert.  One bad thought enters my brain, and then I indulge in it.  It can feel so good to feel bad, sad, etc.  And then its starts snowballing and becomes -- woe is me, I can never get out of this funk, oh woe, oh woe, I have the

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-72508001980015678232011-09-21T10:21:00.000-07:002011-09-21T10:32:09.984-07:00

Where can I find time?  How can I find more time? I'm a full-time working mom of toddler twins.  My partner has a very hectic job and is required to be a slave to his crackberry.  I'm also an intensely social person with many interests (primary interest being my spiritual journey). Here's how my weekdays usually look: 5:55 am wake up 6:15 -7:45 am yoga 8 - 5 pm work while nanny turned

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-52202455546855834622011-09-19T14:19:00.000-07:002011-09-21T14:57:53.779-07:00

My good friend, Asian Daria, brought me a beautiful gift on Saturday night.  Part of my gift was a pendulum (see image above).  Each of the 7 stones in the pendulum corresponds to each chakra.  As soon as I received the gift, I just knew that it always belonged to me and I've been searching for that specific pendulum. I instinctively knew what to do with the pendulum.  I decided to fire my

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-88381972292202783872011-09-16T10:31:00.000-07:002011-09-16T10:32:12.806-07:00

Image source:  http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3121/2355335638_8c0f670ee1.jpg We exchange energy with one another everyday.  The following passage explains this concept clearly: As we interact with each other we exchange pieces of ourselves in the form of energy, moods, opinions and behaviors. These pieces float around our space and often begin to cloud our perceptions and actions. A good

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-39600341036408538772011-09-16T10:03:00.000-07:002011-09-16T10:03:55.046-07:00

I did Dr. Pillai's grace light meditation yesterday with a circle of women.  WOW.  So what is grace light? Grace Light is the incredibly radiant light of the Divine within us -- compassionate, intelligent and almighty. Grace light is not the light of the sun or any physical light. It is an explosive inner light, more brilliant and powerful than the sun, described by the saints, prophets and

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-66891260039308010552011-09-14T10:47:00.000-07:002011-09-14T10:47:56.255-07:00

My girls teach me mindfulness everyday, what a blessing.  Toddlers can be frustrating.  My gawd, the whining is out of control.  They get so flipping frustrated.  They act out like petulant little children. It would be easy to spiral out of control and join them in the whine, frustration, etc.  But I am their example.  I am their teacher.  I need to be mindful to discipline from a place of

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-57252714645157381502011-09-12T16:55:00.000-07:002011-09-12T16:55:09.985-07:00

What what??  You say life is hard.  You say life is too busy to have fun.  You say you have no interests, just work. I say, "I feel sorry for you.  Wake up.  Look around.  Start living."  Life can start now (at any age, 18 or 68). Granted, I just returned from vacation in Hawaii.  It wasn't enough.  One week of pursuing my interests entirely -- absolutely not enough.  There is too much to

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-10101954902913005662011-08-08T10:17:00.000-07:002011-08-08T10:17:48.701-07:00

http://bookjourney.files.wordpress.com/2010/08/2.gif?w=230&h=203 Last night, we went grocery shopping.  The kids and S waited in the car while I quickly put away the frozen/fridge goods.  Then I started getting the heebeejeebees. Childhood fears haunted me.  Afraid of being alone at our place.  Afraid of the monsters lurking in the shadows. I said, "STOP!  Enough of this.  Focus on the

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-26391682617845954752011-08-01T15:18:00.000-07:002011-08-01T15:58:08.931-07:00

Yesterday, I went on an adventure to Joshua Tree.  Our first stop was the public sound bath at the Integratron.  The dude who built it was an engineer and a leader in the UFO movement.  After making contact he created the Ingratron (sound dome) and described it as, "The Integratron is a machine, a high-voltage electrostatic generator that would supply a broad range of frequencies to recharge the

Aninoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-7619659395158573902011-07-30T11:01:00.000-07:002011-07-30T11:04:35.327-07:00

Yesterday, during Reiki class, I asked God -- "Show me how to connect with you." 10 seconds later, my teacher started talking about this one mantra she really likes. I immediately piped up and said, "which one."  I knew I should meditate to this mantra.  This morning I listend to the Gayatri mantra (I love this song, I grew up hearing this!) and did reiki on myself and meditated. I need to

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-21006800833349497462011-07-29T20:58:00.001-07:002011-07-30T10:58:39.617-07:00

The kids were fussy and kept crying from their bedroom after we put them to bed, so it was a short session.  My hands felt certain sensations as I moved them over his body.  I noticed a pull around his head, heart, belly and ankles. Afterwards, he said, "I feel so relaxed now.  My ankle feels better." Also, when I conveyed the cost of my attunment, he simply said, "Okay, as long as you're

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-66593807320516167772011-07-29T20:07:00.001-07:002011-07-30T10:29:46.788-07:00

Today was my first experience with Reiki attunement.  I don't exactly know where to start.  Here I go.... I had expectations.  I expected my life to change.  And it has. I met with my Reiki teacher for a Reiki I class.  A fellow student was present.  The class provided a wealth of information that resonated with me.   Attunement is best described as an old skool television with rabbit ears (i.e.

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-37134501824149791382011-07-25T13:57:00.000-07:002011-07-25T14:06:31.862-07:00

http://www.mandalas.com/images/Lrg_image_Pages/Flowers/LotusWaterfall_8.jpg I wasn't sure what to expect.  We had a conversation.  It was easy to talk to her.  I wanted to soak in all of her words and fully absorb each of them.  She is now my reiki teacher. What exactly is reiki?  Well, my teacher put it best, it's a tool to have the spiritual life force (i.e., chi, qi, prana) on tap whenever

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-25870377836868644512011-07-25T13:19:00.000-07:002011-07-25T14:03:23.730-07:00

http://www.spiritualhealingportal.com/images/photo/chakra-meditation1.jpg My problem is that I'm a perfectionist.   I've had a few amazing experiences with meditation, usually a guided meditation with inspiring gong music, where I felt joyful afterwards.  Picture it:  you get into the meditation groove, all of a sudden you are floating outside of your body (completely awake), and then you come

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-84145457390972927292011-07-20T01:31:00.000-07:002011-07-20T12:11:55.793-07:00

It's always with a circle of women where I feel my greatest potential. I had a fabulous evening full good conversation, amazing women, delish food and equally tasty wine and such.  Where else but LA will women organically sit in circle and discuss raising their vibrational energies?  It was liberating to meet people who were in sync with me, who feel the divine/universe/God in all its glory

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-20123819337635643172011-07-13T14:47:00.000-07:002011-07-13T14:50:50.444-07:00

I left for Nashville feeling depleted.  I was working too much.  I wasn't spending time with myself.  I was losing my divine connection.  Of course it was still there, just not as loud and clear.  I suppose I was losing touch with me.  Nose to the grind, just plugging away. I reached out to the universe and said, "I need wisdom and guidance.  I need you."  And it manifested. I saw live music in

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-2738483072238115592011-04-29T11:36:00.000-07:002011-04-29T11:36:55.614-07:00

from http://drdebkern.com My daily horoscope which is dead on the money said: Unhappiness due to communication is on the cards. Health ailments of your children will have to be taken care today. You will have gains through your younger siblings. I woke up frustrated.  And I didn't want to share my emotions.  I wanted to go inwards and hide.  While doing a project for work tears started

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-55246525802497893792011-04-26T11:34:00.000-07:002011-04-26T11:34:47.559-07:00

I miss the idea of what church could be.  Imagine a place to commune together, share ideas, awaken our inner divine... A place that helps us be better.  How awesome could this be for my girls and me! Trust, I need at least a weekly reminder to keep my ego in check.  I need community!! Some find this connection with others and the divine at Mass or church (or with a shrink/therapist).  "Church"

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-18276791546958903392011-04-22T20:12:00.001-07:002011-04-26T11:38:35.245-07:00

My emotions got the best of me today.  While I firmly believe in my stance/principles, my words were loaded with emotion.  Ego got the best of me. I am consumed with desire to be happy and at peace.  But shit, that is fucking much easier when you are not faced with conflict and a big steamy plate of crap-o-la.  Eating shit is stinky business. I want to give up.  I want to be a hedonist.  I want

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-85038206849786252522011-04-20T11:08:00.000-07:002011-04-26T11:51:53.439-07:00

 www.420lawyer.com/  I'm underwater with piles of work.  I woke up this morning at exactly 4:20 am and started my workday.  Ironic.  The universe may just be telling me to chill the fuck out. I need time for myself.  To just be.

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-70934937008477917092011-04-15T09:33:00.000-07:002011-04-26T11:48:05.594-07:00

I am the queen of "what if."  "Well let's just assume that if s/he meant this".... I love love love to assume.  You know what I do every time I assume?  I make an ass out of you and me.   I've been lonely lately.  I've missed him, my boy.  Life has been out of balance.  Before, only he had a crazy demanding job requiring a crackberry and 100+ hours a week.  When he would come home, I'd

Aninoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-73178855260853930732011-04-14T10:37:00.000-07:002011-07-25T13:36:28.100-07:00

I was raised Roman Catholic (even confirmed dudes).  But I'm not really into the whole Catholic thing.  That said, some of my fave people are Catholics so nothing against Jesus or religion or any of that stuff.  It just doesn't really resonate with me.  But I would high five Jesus, for sure.  I think he is a cool dude, I'd peg him for a toker. I've noticed that is' not hip or cool or even

Aninoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3822350935649460704.post-63934478386265784792011-04-13T11:38:00.000-07:002011-04-26T11:44:15.773-07:00

I'm not sure what my expectations are of this blog.  I do know that I'm ready to start return to blogging.  We returned to Los Angeles in January and my heart is full of joy to be home.

Aninoreply@blogger.com1