I’m not the type of girl to have a lot of friends. I may have a lot of acquaintances, party people, but few good friends. Being the overanalyzing drama queen I am, I must overanalyze this!
Whenever I chill with someone, even if it’s someone I chill with quite often, I generally doubt his or her friend potential. These gals are fun and smart and I do love chilling with them, however in the back of my mind I do think the following:
-did she have a good time?
-will we chill again?
-do I want to chill with her again?
There are 3 possible reasons I may feel this way and as a result have few friends: (1) I am fundamentally insecure; (2) I have created a very high friend bar; or (3) Friendship boils down to chemistry.
(1) I am fundamentally insecure
I know all of us have our own insecurities; but I am happy with who I am and consider myself to be pretty cool. I like me:) Moving on…
(2) High Bar
The few friends I have are friends that I trust 100%. I know these people will always be there for me. I don’t worry that in years to come we will grow apart. I can be on the phone and talk about nothing or chill at my pad and eat snacks and chat or talk sh*t. You know what I mean, the kind of friends you can do anything with anywhere and it’s completely fun.
Perhaps…. I don’t really like people. I subscribe to the “I know who I like and I like who I know” philosophy. You have to be pretty effing cool to be let into my secret circle.
(3) Chemistry
After meeting someone even for the first time or the first few times I get a vibe/energy/signal from them that isn’t tangible. Some people just have that energy that causes me to instantly drop my guard and that’s pretty rare for me. I’d say I’m a pretty stand-offish person, can come off as bitchy or cold. And it’s true: I don’t like lots of people. So I’m either going to get a good vibe and open up to you right away or be cold towards you.
In sum, I think I’m hard to please. At the same time, it’s pretty obvious if I like you and that’s a good thing. I don’t hang out with people I don’t like. But out of the people I do chill with, very few of them are people who I consider to be true friends or have what I call friendship-potential. I’ve only made a few friends down in LA and I like it this way.I’m glad I did the overanalyzing thing, I feel much better.
5 comments:
I hope you know how much I like you. I think I'm somewhat depressed these days...a mixture of things, like our conversation Friday. I feel so bad bringing people down with me. I am turning into a snail for some reason these days - slow progress, retreat into shell when uncertain. It's weird.
But, um, back to the topic - don't worry so much about what everyone else thinks. I think the same thing at times, especially with certain people that we mutually know. But you know what? I don't care! I have good friends here, and everyone else is just filler. And that's the way it seems to work in LA. And that's just fine with me.
When do you leave this week?
I know what you mean about turning into a snail. I'm feeling like that too. I like alone time.
I leave Wednesday night:)
I think as we get older, making GOOD friends is tough. I can say that I have at some point been able to relate to you on all of the three points that you've made. Point one and three go together, kind of. You may feel insecure for a bit but then realize that if you and the other person don't click, who the heck cares? Time to move on. Better to have a few really good friends than to have a bunch of so-so ones.
Totally right J- few in quantity, high in quality.
i like your analysis. nothing makes me feel better than overanalyzing, letting go, coming back to look at the plate, and coming to the exact same conclusion. phew.
and i totally agree with j-dogg. much harder the older we get. damn age.
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