Oh you’re not a lawyer, I-banker, doctor, Ivy League grad or don’t make a shit load of money? Well you’re a loser, clearly.There’s a lot of pressure from the family/society in desi and other cultures to be make it big. Making it big certainly means getting an education. An education from a State school, unless it’s prestigious, or a non-Ivy school is a waste of money. And having a career that doesn’t make a shit load of money is a waste of time.
I thought I was above all of this brainwashing. I was wrong. I was disappointed with my brother’s choices regarding his professional life upon graduation with a B.A. in Economics. I was taken aback when he told me he wanted to purse a one year program in a mechanics school. My little brother a mechanic??? I immediately thought [ashamed to admit now], “but he’s smart…he’s going to ruin his life.” He told me that he always loved cars. He said he liked working with his hands. More importantly, he told me he would be happy as a mechanic.
I lectured my brother. I told him that he should get a job that will utilize his degree. This all came from a good place in my heart. But the bottom line is that I was judgmental. I couldn’t imagine him being happy in a “blue-collar” profession, I wanted so called better for him.
My little brother puts a lot of weight in my words. He took a job he hated. He told me, “I didn’t want to disappoint you.” Do you know how that broke my heart? But my little brother is courageous and brave. He’s now enrolled in a 60 week mechanics program. He’s happy. A weight has been lifted off his shoulders. And I’m proud of him.
I’ve learned a valuable lesson. One of my close and very wise friends told me:
I mean, look at us.Somehow happiness, the pursuit of happiness, gets lost in all of this other garbage. We get piles of shit thrown at us, subtle and overt indoctrinations on how to live our lives, and we start forgetting what it means to be happy. I’m glad that my little brother taught me that the path to happiness is easy: don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks, pursue your dreams and your heart won’t steer you wrong.
We went to law school, we achieved, wrote stuff, did stuff
We are unhappy with our careers like crazy
But we did everything right!
And it still didn't turn out
I'm learning that sometimes the "right" path isn't "right"
If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't do what I've done.
I’m a better person today.
4 comments:
I've often felt this way at times. Congratulations on your brother having the courage to pursue something that makes him happy. There are financial responsibilities in life but ultimately the only difference between a miserable person making $60,000 a year and $250,000 a year is that the rich person gets to be miserable in a more expensive house but in the end both people are still miserable
Good for him!
I'm lucky to have parents whose only wish was for me to be happy. Sure, they wish I had a better salary. But nothing beats the look on my dad's face when I tell him how much I enjoy my work.
My husband and I did everything wrong. We got married right out of high school, I never went to college, and we had babies right away. My husband did, however, go to tech school to become, not a "mechanic", but an Automotive Service Technician, and he is brilliant and successful, always furthering his career with continued training and additional certifications. I love our life and our family, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. True, my marriage is a little rocky, but my beautiful babies by far surpass my husband problems. All in all, I think doing things "right" is highly overrated.
You know, with a BA degree AND a year in mechanic school, your bro can do pretty well for himself. I mean, so many mechanics out there don't even go to school, period. I'm sure with both degrees he'll be highly coveted in the field.
You know, having a blue collar dream is one thing- but being smart in how you pursue it is another. My sister has an AA degree which she isn't even using (to pursue graphic design. It sounds like your brother is far more ambitious and strategic in pursuing his dream. And for that he will be rewarded.
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