I am the queen of "what if." "Well let's just assume that if s/he meant this".... I love love love to assume. You know what I do every time I assume? I make an ass out of you and me.
I've been lonely lately. I've missed him, my boy. Life has been out of balance. Before, only he had a crazy demanding job requiring a crackberry and 100+ hours a week. When he would come home, I'd wake up, have a cup of tea and catch up with him, marinating in us. Now I too have a crazy-demanding job; even working 14 hours a day, my pile of work is ever growing. Plus, we have babies (twins!). Lately, there's been no "us". We haven't nurtured our relationship. We haven't made time for each other. Just terrible. He is a precious gift to me from the divine.
Even more terrible, I assumed I was doing all of the missing. I assumed that he wasn't thinking of me. I assumed that he didn't essentially give a flying fuck because he was full with work (satisfied even). I was wrong. This morning I communicated my sadness and desires. He reciprocated. He misses me like crazy. I melted into him, feeling one again, connected.
Now that I've stopped being an ass, the question is what next? How do we honor and cherish us everyday? Not us as parents, but as just the boy and girl who fell mutually and madly for each other. I would love to sell everything, hit the the world, his hand in mine. That's not practical, of course. But I don't really give a flying fuck. I'm over practical. I'd much rather dream.
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