The First Time Saying I Love You

I'm staying with my family for the remainder of the week, until next Monday, and am of course quite nostalgic and emotional. Here's another story....

My family, growing up, has never been quick to say the "I love you(s)" or give hugs. While I have always known that my family loved me, we didn't express our emotions in a physical or verbal manner, I wish we had.

I was 18 years old and visiting the 'rents from college. At the end of the long weekend, my good friend, J Dogg, and I were going to carpool back to the City with Alecks. My dad walked me to Aleck's car and we said our goodbyes, he slipped me a hundred dollar bill while lecturing me on the importance of education. I nodded my head and promised him that I would be good. My dad watched while J Dogg's dad told J Dogg, "I love you," and gave her a great big bear hug. A little pang went through my heart b/c I wished I could hug my dad like that, that I felt free to do that. It just wasn't something that we did and I was scared to try. I looked at my dad while he walked back towards our house. All of a sudden, my dad turned around and quickly walked towards me. Once he reached me, he hastily let out the words, "Bengali Chick I love you," and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I went back to the City on a high.

After this one act, the damn broke open, and it became habitual to always say the, "I love you(s)" and of course hug. Every night, when I leave my father's hospital bed, I kiss his forehead and I tell him, "dad, I love you so much, I'll see you tomorrow." Funny thing is, I'm not sure if the verbalizing of my love would have rolled off my tongue if it wasn't for that firs time. Thank you dad, for once again teaching me how to love.