The Bass Player

Part I of a potential Part II

While stuck in LA traffic on my way home from work, I noticed the woman in the car behind me crying her eyes out. Her mascara streaked face and hysterical sobbing brought me back to the days I cried almost daily, for 7 years to be exact. I made the mistake of dating the Bass Player (Bass for short) for 6 years and 364 days too long. Lesson learned: (1) a 16 years old has no business picking up a hitchhiker and then dating him (perhaps no one should pick up a hitchhiker) (2) when the first thing out of a guy's mouth is -- "I just stopped taking acid last week. Every time I took acid.. it changed who I was. I kept taking it until I became who I wanted to be" -- run away from him, not walk, RUN.

Anyhow, Bass was an a*shole. He treated me like sh*t. But when you meet a guy at the impressionable age of 16, you start thinking that general a*sholery is the norm. You start thinking everyone's relationship is just as f*cked up as yours. You also don't think you deserve better. Yeah, I took an emotional bat to the head, among other things... [Perhaps a story for another time. Not now. It'll leave me far too emotionally exhausted and raw. Perhaps in Part II.]

I think a lot of people thought I was a goner, condemned to live a sh*tty life with a sh*tty guy. Did I mention that I accepted Bass's marriage proposal? My friends and family hated Bass. I didn't know how to leave. I felt trapped. One moment, perhaps a culmination of many other moments, set me free... AK and I were driving back to PT from DC and discussed my upcoming nuptials.

Me: I have hesitations about marrying Bass.
AK: Why don't you talk to Bass about these issues?
Me: I can't. I just can't. I can't talk to him about this kind of stuff.
AK: You should be able to tell the man you're going to marry everything, especially this kind of stuff.

It just clicked. Holy sh*t how could I marry Bass when I couldn't talk to him about anything. I know, I was a stupid and weak twit. As soon as we got to PT, that very night, I gave Bass back his engagement ring. He soon after admitted to cheating on me for the past 7 years. Perhaps he needed a couple more tabs of acid to become a better man.

I really believe that anyone's life can change for the better in any given moment. Our past does not bind us. That one day driving back from DC with AK changed my entire life. And now there's hubby -- who does not need acid or any drugs to become a better man. Fear has no place in my relationship. I have never been afraid to talk to my husband about anything. He is sweet, gentle, respectful and kind beyond words. You wonder why many of my posts are dripping with happiness? I found hubby, the love of my life, and escaped life with Bass. By the way, Bass now has 4 kids with 2 different women, one is with his wife and the rest are with his his mistress. Can we say an Amen to the life I escaped?

Peace.