Thursday, May 31, 2007

Be.Happy.Today

I read Scorps1027's (scorps1027intransit[dot]blogspot[dot]com) blog from today and I feel very positive. Life is unfair. Bottom line. There ain't shit we can do about it. Recognizing this somehow makes me infinitely happier.

I can only control me. There are many women who have been diagnosed infertile by their reproductive endocrinologist (RE) for no good medical reason. Very sucky. I don't know when I'm going to get pregnant. Much about pregnancy is left up to fate. I can control my trying to get pregnant. I'm doing just that:
  • Acupuncture weekly
  • Chinese Herbs daily
  • Basal Body Temperature daily
  • Check cervical mucus daily
  • Eat healthy/exercise/drink lots of water daily
  • Prenatal vitamins daily
  • Omega's daily
  • Evening Primrose Oil (better quality cervical mucus) daily until ovulation
  • Sex almost daily
  • Meditation and being stress free daily
Seriously, I can't try harder. Still doing everything right this cycle won't guarantee a positive pregnancy test. I can stay positive and I can hope.

My dad being sick is unfair. But life is unfair. Bad shit happens to good people. Cancer doesn't discriminate, generally. There's days that a wave of sadness washes over me. I don't ignore it. I let the sadness envelope me and I cry. And then I remember to think all of the happiest memories I can about my dad. All I can do is visit him as much as possible and be there for my mom. I can choose to celebrate my father's life instead of mourn it. He has always been a fan of parties!

Lesson learned: I can't let one moment of my life pass me by without being exuberantly happy (or at least trying). I am married to the love of my life and have amazing family and friends. And I happen to like myself. Happiness is mine today and all the days of my life if I allow it.

3 comments:

Scorps1027 said...

I'm glad my post helped you in some way! i know writing it for me was carthatic.

I agree with your view/attitude that you are doing everything you can in terms of fertility and you can only wait and hope and know that you are trying your hardest. you shouldnt' feel inadequate in anyway!

and as for your dad's situation, this is precisely what i mean about bad things happening to good people and us searching for "why?", when no answer can satisfy you on that one. i'm sorry you are goign through this and it is OKAY to cry and be scared and use a range of emotion. my thoughts and positive energy are with you.

we are all stronger than we think.

Asha's Dad said...

My wife is an OB/Gyn and from what she has told me that having sex too frequently can decrease your chances of conception. I've also heard that it takes about 72-96 hrs to build up one's sperm count.

She's had pretty good success with treating patient's with Clomid. Also there's always IVF (expensive but NY and Virginia are supposed to be good places)

Hope all goes well. Best of luck with your Dad. Smiles, hugs, and a gentle pat on the shoulder go a long way even when they seem insignificant. I'm sure he appreciates what a wonderful daughter he has raised and as the parent of a little girl that's the best that we can hope for.

kit-n-kumari said...

indeed, there is a feeling of "why me?" that we all tend to adopt when it comes to crappy things happening to us.

but i heard someone (perhaps Elizabeth Edwards) ask: Why not me? Not that we deserve the affliction being visited to us, but that if we expect an ordered and fair universe, we are asking for disappointment.

I agree with Scorps-- the only way to move forward is to embrace our sadness, our disappointment, our pain and then leave it behind.

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