The Turkey Has Been BASTED!!

I accompanied hubby to make a deposit at 8:30 am. The receptionist had to check with the doctor before she let me accompany him into the porn room. She looked embarrassed as she said, "no saliva or body fluids besides the semen." So playing with the penis with my mouth was slightly out of the questions. No worries, I am creative. I took off my trench coat and surprised hubby with uber sexy lingere. My breasts looked awesome and full. It took no time to produce a sample. Who needs nasty porn when there's a real girl wiggling and writhing? I was super turned on.

[We seriously lucked out. It took sheer will power to not have sex last night. We were supposed to abstain for 24 hours. At one point of fooling around, hubby said, "come on, fuck it.. let's make love." I came so close to saying "fuck it" too."]

I arrived at the doctor's at 10:30. I had to lie down on the bed with the stirrups. I had time to listen to music and get in my zen-mode. I visualized my father in heaven with my child in his arms. I visualized the baby being sent down in a beam of light, kinda like Star Trek, to my womb. I felt my father's love and focused that love to my baby.

Dr. S came in and high fived me. I made him laugh with my turkey basting inappropriate jokes. I truly believe I'm his most entertaining and quirky patient. Hubby is such a damn over achiever. Dr. S gave his sperm 2 gold stars. The man produced 40 million high quality sperm. Dr. S inserted a catheter into my cervix. Luckily there was ZERO pain. Afterwards I just rested in the doctor's office listening to Bob Marley (upbeat and peaceful... only fear is that my kid will be a raging pot head!). Dr. S told me that one of his patients comes to the office always stoned out of her mind. Hmmm.. I'm getting ideas (j/k).

Now I'm home from work chillaxing. I'm not letting any negativity affect me.

My motto: Trust & Surrender.