My MIL, even more so than my mother, wants grandkids from my vagina. Both mom's vocal desire for the grandkids make me act out like a petulant child, this behavior started before I found out I have so called fertility issues and before I even wanted kids.
Mom/MIL: [innocent comment] When are the grandkids going to be here so so we can play with them and spoil them rotten? [all too bubbly]My mom and I have combative communication. I was a tomboy growing up. I had my grunge period in high school: converse shoes, slouchy jeans, flannel shirt & an ugly green cardigan I wore daily. My mom would plead with me to wear a dress and brush my hair to look suitable for a Bengali function, she knew that wearing anything Indian-esque was completely out of the question. Of course I'd wear my grungy clothes. My mother would yell the entire car ride to the function. The combative relationship we have is surprisingly satisfying. All of that arguing and quasi-yelling just hits the spot. I swear, I am not abusing my mother, she gets a kick out of the frustration. My family is quirky.
Me: Uhm never. I don't know if I even want kids. Seriously. As if. [with the angst of a teenager]
So my petulance in the above scenario is semi-automatic. My mom knows I'm just being cheeky. Now silence is deadly. Avoidance maybe worse. If my mom hints at something and I completely ignore her and become very succinct with my answers, she knows that she is treading on thin ice. The only person who could get away with repeatedly asking me annoying questions that I clearly didn't want to answer which I indicated by my avoidance technique was my dad. The reason being is that my father was probably the most annoying human being alive (I say that with the utmost love and respect, he took great pride in his annoying abilities).
A few weeks ago, while I was having my period, my MIL called me at work. I was already in a pissy mood -- bleeding like a stuck pig, moody as hell and bloated like a beached whale. Really, I was in mood to talk to my MIL.
MIL: Hi beta. Are you busy?
Me: Well yeah I kinda am.
MIL: I'm just calling to see how everything is. [translation: She asked hubby if I was pregnant and he told her I was on my period. Marvelous how everyone knows my cycle so well.]
Me: Wonderful. [I get succinct when I'm pissy.]
MIL: So are you going to see the doctor? [translation: We want you to do everything in your power to get pregnant. Take Clomid. Get IVF. We don't care. Give us a baby.]
Me: Things are wonderful.
MIL: So are you going to see the doctor?[Clearly, she doesn't get me]
Me: Things are wonderful. No reason to see a doctor-- physical won't be for another year. [Classical me ignoring the issue]
MIL: Oh...
Me: [Lying like a skank trying to score crack] I have a meeting to go to RIGHT NOW. Bye!
5 comments:
I have like the same relationship with my mother as you do. When she pesters me about dating and marriage and whatnot, I either (a) ignore her or if we're on the phone I hang up or (b) I say, "who ever says I even want to get married?" Which we all know is a lie. But seriously. Back the F off.
My best friend tells me I should tell them all I'm a lesbian. I think it'd work for a minute and then they'd try to set me up with a chick and figure out which one of us is going to carry the baby. Le sigh.
Also - I wore the same outfit in high school. Down to the green cardigan. I still have it. :)
You know whats funny about reading this, the expectations and asking for personal things never ends.
When I was single "Oh don't you feel like being with someone?" Yes in which language shall I tell you I'm voluntarily continually horny for a man? Ugh.
Then I met a man and people want to know "when we are giving them the good news"! Now why the fuck don't you just ask us "when are you getting engaged?" Then we got engaged and everyone is up in my business about our wedding.
You know what though I can't wait for them to ask us when we are having a baby after we get married because I have an answer I've been waiting to dole out for years..."We are trying auntie, really hard, everyday, sometimes 4 times a day so soon I hope" and smile like a moron like they all do!!
parents are so ridiculous sometimes... and in-laws are even wrose b/c you can't just go off on them like you can your own parents. your parents understand that they've pushed your buttons; after all, they're the ones who created them!
i do agree with DB that your comment about wanting a baby out of your vagina is hilarous! perhaps you could threaten to tell her --IN GRAPHIC DETAIL-- about the details of your sex life with husband to get her play-by-play analysis of what you are doing wrong. then it can be her fault if you don't conceive. :)
Haha, I was a total grunge in high school too. That line of 'wear something nice and comb your hair' routine rings with me oh so well!
I personally would get tired as hell of the questions and just get cheeky and try to piss them off even more. Just tell them you're giving up trying and are contemplating adoption. That would stop the questions eh?
the expectations never end! i hpoe it's not driving you too crazy! hopefully mom/mil will back of a bit and give you some space...you're right htey only mean well but they are mothers and therefore that means they must nag and ask you the obvious questions that are ever-presently always looming over your daily horizon.
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