First, I'm seeing a shrink. Yup, a psychiatrist on Saturday morning at 8 am. I knew I needed some help when I found myself in bed all day while in NYC. I just couldn't get out of bed. Bursting into tears at the gym is not cool. I need some therapy/drugs to get me through this rough patch. I'm a big girl and I know when I need help.
Thankfully my shrink appointment is before my D&C which has been scheduled for Monday at noon. I'm freaking out. I'll get anaesthesia via IV.
I'm trying to be positive -- but it's just hard. I don't feel like me:(
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My friend Smurf is pregnant. She's 32 years old and 11 weeks along. I met up with her and other festival folk for a weekend project. ... -
I'm kinda scared of brownies. Okay, scared is a strong word. Plus I'm married to a South Asian, does that give me street cred ? ... -
I find you to be a f*cking cunt. I hope there is a special place in hell for a b*tch like you. You never deserved to have children. Here ...
5 comments:
Sounds like the sensible thing to do, BC. You've been through some really heavy losses and what sound like fluctuating feelings lately--it's a good idea to get a professional to help sort things out.
*Hugs*
Although i must say that when i read the post directly before this one, i was all, "Hurray! BC is back to being her spunky self!"
Hope you feel better soon. And you know what, i hope you keep writing. For me at least, writing helps me work through my demons.
And also--and i hesitate to say this since i don't know your med hist, but--ask your doc to check your blood coagulence levels. My friend C who had several (Seven to be exact) unsuccessful pregnancies was finally diagnosed with a deficiency in that area. If you think this is a worthwhile lead, email me and i'll find out the correct terminology etc.
Maya, I totally agree. My fertility specialist is going to do a miscarriage work up since this is the 3rd failed pregnancy. The work up will include checking the "creature" tissue from the D&C and doing tests on me including coagulation.
I hope they find answers:)
I'm bowled over by your strength and maturity. Seeking help is absolutely the right thing to do. I hope you have found a good psychiatrist.
I, too, hope that you continue writing, either in this forum or elsewhere. Reading has always helped me during my lowest moments, I'm sure you're probably doing some of that too.
Love you Ani.
I'm glad you're getting some outside help - I can't imagine going through something like this without some.
You've shown yourself to be incredibly strong and incredibly upbeat even in difficult times and I'm sure that part of the challenge right now is not being able to act like yourself. But just by not despairing, by being so self-aware, and by reaching out for help, you are very much showing the person we've all come to know through your blog.
I've been thinking about you. I hope you start getting some answers.
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