Finding Time & Wanting Tomorrow

Where can I find time?  How can I find more time?

I'm a full-time working mom of toddler twins.  My partner has a very hectic job and is required to be a slave to his crackberry.  I'm also an intensely social person with many interests (primary interest being my spiritual journey).



Here's how my weekdays usually look:

5:55 am wake up
6:15 -7:45 am yoga
8 - 5 pm work while nanny turned friend watches kids
5-6 pm  play with kids
6-7 pm  prepare and serve dinner (for kids)
7-8:30 pm play with kids, clean up, wind children down for bed
8:30 - 9 pm sometimes the kids cry, sometimes they want water, sometimes they want "blankie", etc.
9 - 10 pm spend time with my partner
10 pm bed

This schedule doesn't even include friends, book club, pursing my interests, dates with hubby, grocery shopping, running errands, etc.  I could choose to sleep less and be sleep deprived; however, I would then definitely need caffeine in the morning.  I'd rather not drink coffee.  I'd rather just drink a cup of tea.  I'd rather honor my body and get rest instead of being fueled on artificial stimulants.

In my heart, I know my schedule is not working for me.  I'm enjoying my life as much as possible, but most of the time suck is my job.  I definitely enjoy my job.  That said, my job is my least favorite activity in my day, I'd much rather work 20 hours a week and have time to live life more.

Today, I've been in this place of "I don't know."  I don't know how to manifest 20 hours of work week.  I want it now.  I feel very much trapped in the present.  How awful is that.  I'm pining away for the hopes of tomorrow where I will have what I want.  That sort of thinking makes me feel heavy.

The process of writing has brought me clarity and peace.  I have set my intention.  I want to work fewer hours a week.  I will meditate on how to make that happen.  In the meantime, I need to have faith that everything will work out and enjoy each moment (not look forward to the future).  I am blessed to have wonderful friends, family and so many hobbies/interests -- my life is too full, I suppose that ain't so bad of a problem to have.

Note:  I understand many families have much more hectic schedules (i.e., mom and dad working different shifts to support their family).  I simply do not believe that life has to be that hectic.  I don't expect it to be that difficult.  Heaven is on earth.  I believe I am here to gain experiences and develop in this life.  Life has presented a wrinkle, it is up to me to decide how to deal with it and make changes for my highest good.