Mother-Daughter Relationship
Why are mothers judgmental and daughters defensive? Is it a matter of perception?
Tonight I was driving home from Santa Monica around 11 PM and decided to call my mom for a chat. Here’s an excerpt of the conversation.
Me: Hi, mom, what are you up to?
Mom: What’s wrong?
Me: [getting defensive] nothing!
Mom: You really should not be eating spinach this week.
Me: Mom, I know.
Mom: Where’s Hubby?
Me: He’s still at work.
Mom: Is he eating?
Me: Yes, I packed him lunch. The job paid for dinner
Mom: Did you eat?
Me: Yes, I had salad for lunch.
Mom: I told you no spinach.
Me: [defensive again] Mom it wasn’t spinach.
Mom: Why don’t you go to bed? Don’t you have work in the morning?
Me: [getting frustrated] Mom, it’s 11 PM, I’m driving home!
Mom: Where are you?
Me: Driving past Century City coming from Santa Monica.
Mom: Why are you out in Santa Monica so late?
Me: [extremely annoyed] I was hanging out with friends.
Mom: I guess that’s okay. Did you eat dinner with them?
This conversation would have been completely different with my dad. I would have told him I ate kettle corn for dinner and watched Grease on the big screen in Santa Monica. I told my mom nothing about my evening.
Tonight I was driving home from Santa Monica around 11 PM and decided to call my mom for a chat. Here’s an excerpt of the conversation.
Me: Hi, mom, what are you up to?
Mom: What’s wrong?
Me: [getting defensive] nothing!
Mom: You really should not be eating spinach this week.
Me: Mom, I know.
Mom: Where’s Hubby?
Me: He’s still at work.
Mom: Is he eating?
Me: Yes, I packed him lunch. The job paid for dinner
Mom: Did you eat?
Me: Yes, I had salad for lunch.
Mom: I told you no spinach.
Me: [defensive again] Mom it wasn’t spinach.
Mom: Why don’t you go to bed? Don’t you have work in the morning?
Me: [getting frustrated] Mom, it’s 11 PM, I’m driving home!
Mom: Where are you?
Me: Driving past Century City coming from Santa Monica.
Mom: Why are you out in Santa Monica so late?
Me: [extremely annoyed] I was hanging out with friends.
Mom: I guess that’s okay. Did you eat dinner with them?
This conversation would have been completely different with my dad. I would have told him I ate kettle corn for dinner and watched Grease on the big screen in Santa Monica. I told my mom nothing about my evening.
So funny - I can totally see your mom saying those things. It's so funny how americans are freaking so much about spinach. they should focus their energies on global warming, aids, and terrorism.
Posted by
antitsunami |
September 20, 2006 at 9:45 AM
I know it's like calm down about the damn spinach. My mom drives me nuts!!!
Posted by
Bengali Chick |
September 20, 2006 at 7:56 PM
But, . . . .she's your guru!! If it weren't for her warnings, you'd be a complete mess eating spinach, not feeding your husband and hanging out til wee hours of the morning.
I'm kidding. She loves you. Bask in the joy of having someone who worries about you so much!
Posted by
MorningGlory |
September 20, 2006 at 8:57 PM
Word to morning glory. I love the focus on eating. I see it in my family, especially with my Mom and Grandma, who were both doctors, but still consider the most important part of caring for someone to be making sure they are well-fed. I think it's because they come from a society where being well-fed is such a struggle for so many people; perhaps this could apply to your mother as well.
Posted by
BidiSmoker |
September 21, 2006 at 1:29 PM
Oh, the documentation of a conversation with the mama going south. Happens to me a few times a week. You love her, but sometimes...well, you know!
Posted by
Roonie |
September 21, 2006 at 11:15 PM
lol BengaliChick- my dad was actually the first one to tell me about the spinach, when I got an email from him titled "Bad Killer Spinach," which, not knowing the situation, I was like, good lord, what news article are you sending me now. The clincher arrived later on in the week, with an email sent to my sisters and I titled, "Avoid spinach at all costs. Bhat, dal, kapir torkari is best."
Posted by
Me |
September 28, 2006 at 11:19 PM