I just want to die…

That’s what my dad keeps saying. We’re visiting my parents for the weekend and it’s utterly depressing. My dad feels horrible. He looks like a living corpse. All he does is smoke bud to try and alleviate the pain and lie down on the floor moaning in pain. He simply isn’t doing well. He just repeats over and over that all he wants is to die.

I feel bad that I hate being here. I remember the days when my dad would make jokes, say outrageous things and we would just have a good time. The laughter is gone now. There’s nothing that I can say or do that makes him feel better.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I’m afraid that it’ll never be the way it used to be.