Hubby loves his job. Hubby doesn't want to leave his job. He would do it for me, but I'm not asking. It is what it is. He will work these vile hours for gawd knows how long. They'll probably get better in 5 years and he'll be out of the office at 9ish (maybe). But even the higher-ups in his competitive work place work psycho ours. Anyhow, I really don't have 5-10 years to wait. I'm 28 with fertility issues, time is of the essence. I have no anger about this situation. I accept it. I willingly walked into my marriage with both eyes wide open. I have no regrets. I would marry my husband all over again (my utility is tied to his). Regarding balancing work/family -- it is what it is -- my responsibility.
So I have 2 options:
1) Say fuck it. If he can't be around to donate his sperm, he clearly can't be around to be a father. His work will always come first. Life is just me and hubby. We're happy. I'm EXTREMELY independent and have many options socially and professionally to have a fulfilled life.
2) Clearly recognize the situation and go forward with treatments. Be fulfilled and not resentful that child rearing will completely fall on me.
This post isn't to bitch about my situation. I have a wonderful husband. We live a very comfortable life. He's over-worked but happy b/c he relishes his job. Writing this post out hasn't changed my mind, it's given me clarity. I'm willing to proceed with fertility treatment to hopefully get preggo and be the primary and at times sole caregiver. Once in awhile I'll bitch in this blog. Like I said before, it is what it is.
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My friend Smurf is pregnant. She's 32 years old and 11 weeks along. I met up with her and other festival folk for a weekend project. ... -
I'm kinda scared of brownies. Okay, scared is a strong word. Plus I'm married to a South Asian, does that give me street cred ? ... -
I find you to be a f*cking cunt. I hope there is a special place in hell for a b*tch like you. You never deserved to have children. Here ...
3 comments:
I admire your commitment to your goal. I know I would get frustrated and completely sidetracked.
Good luck with everything.
i like this post because you're so honest in it. it is what it is and you did go in with both eyes open. such honesty gives you the perspective you need for a healthy and meaningful relationship. This is pretty much all we can do in life: enjoy and appreciate what we have. Everyone has their burdens and obstacles. Make the best of your situation! Thanks for the post.
P.S. go watch diving bell and butterfly!
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