Reiki I Attunement

Today was my first experience with Reiki attunement.  I don't exactly know where to start.  Here I go....

I had expectations.  I expected my life to change.  And it has.

I met with my Reiki teacher for a Reiki I class.  A fellow student was present.  The class provided a wealth of information that resonated with me.   Attunement is best described as an old skool television with rabbit ears (i.e., antenna) that is just not receiving a signal, so the television is fuzzy.  The antenna has to be adjusted to receive the correct channel.  This is what my teacher did for me, she adjusted my channel so that I could tune in energy from God/universe/source/divine.  

My teacher led me on a guided meditation.  I was in a cave filled with brilliant crystals.  I started reaching for the top of the cave which had an opening.  The opening was a sphere of bright light.  I tried to reach the light but gray/black smoke surrounded me.  The light was to my far right.  My feet felt heavy and glued to the floor.  My hands felt hot and heavy.  I wanted to desperately reach the light but I was so afraid the darkness would cover it.  I could feel an energy on my throat.  It was hard to swallow.  I finally started to stop being afraid of black/grey smoke.  The light was now in front of me and I entered through it.  Next, I was in a bright, almost white, room.  But then the room had streaks of grey smoke.  I was in both light and dark.  Throughout my experience I would see bolts of lightning and swirls of purple energy.  After the attunement I was dizzy and thirsty.

Did it work?  I have no doubt.  I practiced reiki on the other student.  As I ran my hands about 1-2 inches above her body, I felt sensations in my hands -- heat, tingly, pulls towards energy...  My hands got very hot. I practiced again when I came home.

Reiki is less about energy healing and more about connecting with God.  It's about dancing with life.  It's about desires without expectations.  It's about being present.  It's about living each moment in joy.  It's about not getting bogged down by the shit that happens in life.  Shit will always happen, we know this.  But why dwell?  Live in bliss!!  

So have I been magically transformed?  Yes.  This doesn't mean that I still don't have a panic moment, when I'm not being fully present.  I had a panic moment at the end of my Reiki class.   I noticed that it was 5 pm, time flew by, and I had to go home and relieve my nanny.  Worry entered my mind.  The class cost $275 and I never discussed a dollar amount with my partner (we have a joint rule to discuss all single purchases over a certain dollar amount).  I thought, "Oh Shit, is he gonna be pissed?"  I felt flustered.  I had to say out loud, "No, this is easy.  There is no problem.  He is going to be so happy for me and think I got a awesome deal."

Lesson learned from this panic moment:  you got this, don't let worry enter your mind, it's easy, remember what you learned today!!! 

Major things I learned today:

1. I am afraid of my feminine energy -- uhm, duh, this is why I had fertility issues
2. I compare myself with my partner to the point of stress (i.e., well he worked 80 hours this week, I really should work at least 60)
3. I need more self-love and acceptance

There's so much more I could write, but right now it's time for me to draw.  I haven't done anything artistic with paint, pastels, watercolors in over a decade.  But I feel an overwhelming need.  I purchased a drawing book and oil pastels tonight.  

I feel alive.  My journey started not too long ago and I am excited about the upcoming adventures.  This is my life and it will be lived in light and oneness with God.  God, show me the purpose of my life.  I'm listening.