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Shielding Myself from Tragedy

I hate to see suffering. It makes me feel utterly depressed. From large scale suffering (acts of terrorism) to individual suffering. I saw a woman at Rite Aid yesterday, she was very old and could barely walk. She was dissheveled and didn't look like she had anyone to help take care of her. I could see her struggling to pay for her items and count her bills. She looked helpless. I felt heavy for the remainder of the day at work.

I HATE it. As an adult I see myself trying to avoid suffering as much as possible. I like living in a nice neighborhood to feel safe and also to not see suffering. I don't want to see homeless people, not b/c I think I'm better, but b/c then I can't push it out of my mind as easily. The best way to approach human tragedy is to let it motivate me to make change. But it doesn't. It seems all too overwelhming. It makes me want to hide behind a gigantic gate and pretend like it doesn't exist. It isolates me and motivates me to shield my loved ones. That's just plain sad.

Posted by Oni on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 at July 12, 2006 |

I have a lot of internal struggles with tragedy and despair. I feel like, "Why should I be so lucky? Why should I complain about my life when I have nothing but idealistic issues?" And I wonder why I can't do anything about it. And I hate that I can't, but then again, I can, if I'm willing to sacrifice enough to give more of myself. And I will. But I can't ever seem to give enough. Then it seems fruitless. Then I'm frustrated all over again at my own selfishness and spoiledness. It's a cycle. And then I feel stupid as I sit here and complain about my good intentions. I feel like a fraud.

That was total stream of consciousness. But it's really what I go through.

Posted by Anonymous Roonie | July 12, 2006 at 10:51 PM  

I hear ya. I feel the same way. It's such a cycle. How do we become better? I am concious of this, but I don't feel that's enough.

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | July 13, 2006 at 8:39 AM  

Wow. Your feelings, of trying to get away from the suffering seems to express what so many people do, including myself. I feel good because I write my check or contribute to CFC. That sorta gives me more ammunition to walk past the homeless man I see nearly every morning on Wilshire Blvd as I walk from the parking structure to my office building. We locked eyes this morning. I want to do more, but I can't do everything. How do I know if I'm doing enough?

Posted by Anonymous MorningGlory | July 13, 2006 at 10:30 AM  

I don't know! At least you're doing something, yay you:) I need to motivate myself to make change.

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | July 13, 2006 at 12:01 PM  

I think the worst is when you're at a restaurant or other public place and see elderly people doing janitorial jobs. It's so depressing to know that you're sitting there spending your money while they have to clean up after you just to get by. Makes me think of my parents and how these people are even older and still have to work so hard.

Posted by Anonymous sherni | July 13, 2006 at 1:16 PM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Posted by Anonymous Saurabh | July 17, 2006 at 4:48 PM  

We all struggle with this. Sometimes we condemn, sometimes we ignore, sometimes we empathize, sometimes we feel it so much that it makes us depressed. I would say when you witness helplessness and poverty pray for their well being, extend a kind smile and help in whatever way you can .

Posted by Anonymous Saurabh | July 17, 2006 at 4:49 PM  

S- I can do that! Thank you:)

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | July 20, 2006 at 10:11 AM  

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