The Law of Attraction: Challenge

One of the main reasons I started this blog was due to my interest in the law of attraction. Of course I am a doubting Thomas and the self-created doubts kept me from fully exploring this new way of thinking. The things that I know that are true about myself are the following:

• I lose hope easily.
• I have a blessed life, meaning I have an amazing husband, a good job and wonderful friends and family; yet, I am often plagued with bouts of "woe is me" syndrome.
• I am a pessimist.
• I recognize that this is not a good way to live.

My dad has endless hope and optimism, I have a lot to learn from him as well as others. As I have written in previous posts, my dad was not lucid for 1 1/2 weeks. The doctors had given up hope. They felt that chemo was simply not an option in his state. Further, his oncologist and team of doctors told us that even if chemo was an option, his chance of survival is slim. When my own father couldn't recognize me, I lost all hope. I thought this was the end. Bengali Dude is a lot like me and he too lost hope. We wallowed in self-pity.

Siva works for my parents part-time and has been quasi-adopted by my family, as his family is in India. He has a rich unshaking faith. He came to see my dad, b/c he is that kind of wonderful person, and he never lost faith that my father would recover. He repeated several times, "do not lose faith, he will get better, believe in that." I dismissed him. While I found his faith to be inspirational, I also found it to be delusional. On Valentine's Day, my mom and I went to see my dad armed with roses, he was completely lucid. My dad was his old self. I asked him if he wanted chemo and he mustered up all the strength inside of him and said, "Of course I do. I'm going to live. I'm going to see my grandchild. You promised me that we would celebrate New Year's Eve with my grandkid." Where does my father find this eternal optimism? Where does he get these convictions?

Clearly I am doing something wrong. I want that kind of hope. I want to always be happy. I don't want to sit here, with such a blessed life, and ever be depressed for a moment. I want to change. I need to change. My way of thinking has done nothing good for me, NOTHING. Yes, I write posts about being positive, but that is so fleeting with me. Pathetic.

Siva had been raised by a devout Hindu family and he lost touch with that. Two years ago he was inspired to be connected to his faith. Being an engineer, he needed to set up an experiment to see whether the faith could bring value to his life. He decided to give himself a finite period of time where he would re-learn his faith and embrace it in order to evaluate the faith's utility. I am going to do the same. I have met too many people the last few years that have steered me towards the law of attraction. I don't know why. What I do know is that I have to believe that it's for a reason and not just a mere coincidence. For the next 30 days, I will practice the law of attraction and each post will be dedicated to my journey.