What you see is what you get with men. I believe this. My husband put it all out there when we first met, especially about his career plans. Hubby has worked 110 hours in the past 7 days... I wish I were kidding. Do I like it? NO. I miss my baby. I didn't marry him for the money, he was a broke ass student of 22 when we met. The money don't mean a thang to me, I'd prefer his company and less benjamins.
I don't feel like I can say sh*t. I mean, I knew what I was getting into. A few of my friends know of my desire to have kids and have chastised me for it. They raise their eyebrows and say, "but is he going to continue working these crazy hours with a baby?" I politely nod and say "yup, probably for 5-10 more years." They're shocked!
Here's the thing, once again, I knew what I was getting into. I know that everything will fall on my shoulders in terms of child-rearing and household duties.. This is why I'm not going to work, well I'll work if I can work from home.
Of course this sucks. But I always knew it would. Yeah, it still sucks, even though I know. But I am at peace. I love my husband. I knew I was marrying a workaholic who had ridiculous career goals. I don't think it's fair to change him or judge him. Supportive is my middle name.
P.S. My pregnancy will be an immaculate conception as hubby has been coming home on average around 3 am.
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My friend Smurf is pregnant. She's 32 years old and 11 weeks along. I met up with her and other festival folk for a weekend project. ... -
I'm kinda scared of brownies. Okay, scared is a strong word. Plus I'm married to a South Asian, does that give me street cred ? ... -
I find you to be a f*cking cunt. I hope there is a special place in hell for a b*tch like you. You never deserved to have children. Here ...
11 comments:
IMMACULATE CONCEPTION! Bwahahahahahaha! I love it.
I guess all you can do is remind yourself if you would be better off without him, and it sounds like the answer to that is no. Just keep reminding him, he can go in house after 8 years and then will have more time for the family.
BC,
it's profound that you've realized the compromises you are willing to make. after the kids are born you'll have to remain vigilant not to take it personally that work is a priority over time with the kids. i think it's easier to understand a husband's time spent at work as a wife but much more difficult as a mother. but kudos to you for being understanding and realizing that your husband was honest about it and you accepted it. remember this blogspot and always remember that no one gets absolutely everything all at once in life - it's always a balancing act. p.s. i'm learning a lot from your supportive attitude!
Zed-
You know how to make a girl feel good. This is what I love about blogging, building community and finding support!
Pritilata-
Can't live w/o hubby!!! I'll see what hubby does in 8 years.
After almost 9 years with mine, I am finally becoming comfortable with the idea of compromise and not changing him. I love him as always, and he is the same man that I married back then. We always find a way to make it work. Even if sometimes it gets difficult to see a way through it all...
There's always the baster method.
You're being stronger than I probably would be.
And your hubby's lifestyle is exactly why I will NEVER work for a big firm.
As long as there's immaculate foreplay as well ...
i'm really interesting in how this plays out in your life, BC, b/c i often have the same issue with my husband. he doesn't work quite as much as yours, but he's also in school, so he's probably a zombie just as much.
i vaccilate between "i signed up for this" and "times change, so people should change." i don't behave the way i did before i got married. (it's kinda not cool to hang out in bars until 2 am trying to meet dudes when you are married...) and half of the time i think husband should modify his lifestyle accordingly.
on the other hand, i agree with you that if i'm not going to "work" then someone has to... and i should give him a little leeway, since i'm not clamoring to run out and get a 9-5 gig.
good luck.
You're clearly a great and devoted wife.
But this post is tagged "compromise" ...where's the compromise in this set-up, especially with a kid?
PBB: Hmm, the compromise... I compromise. But I expected to?
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