Manifest My Desire

I love gluten free girl's blog. Her post today warmed my heart. I love the celebration of love with authenticity and simplicity; nothing is more beautiful. The pic above is of my sweetheart, standing at the edge of a cliff in San Diego. We have been married for over 2 1/2 years and I still cannot get enough of him.

I'll never forget the day he asked me to marry him. He took may hand at SuperStar School Parking lot and casually asked, "marry me?" His eyes reflected honesty, sincerity and blissful happiness. I didn't even have to think about the question. I immediately said, "Yes!" We got in the car, a beat up white Toyota Corolla that had seen better years, and headed for Reno, NV. This is before I realized my food allergies, so we stopped at McDonald's for a quick bite to eat. We shared a sundae, quarter-pounder, and fries. He drove and I fed him spoonfuls of ice-cream and dipped his quarter-pounder in bbq sauce. It was messy and we went through a lot of napkins, but it was fun. I wore a pair of jeans, a red long sleeved T and flip-flops. He wore beige shorts, a t-shirt and sneakers. We bought a pair of rings for $30 (for the both of us, which later turned green) that the chapel was selling. We made vows to each other in private a minute before midnight. It was a lovely, private affair.

I don't feel like I missed out on anything on my wedding day.

Labels: marriage, my wedding

Posted by Oni at March 15, 2007 | Permalink | Comments

What you see is what you get with men. I believe this. My husband put it all out there when we first met, especially about his career plans. Hubby has worked 110 hours in the past 7 days... I wish I were kidding. Do I like it? NO. I miss my baby. I didn't marry him for the money, he was a broke ass student of 22 when we met. The money don't mean a thang to me, I'd prefer his company and less benjamins.

I don't feel like I can say sh*t. I mean, I knew what I was getting into. A few of my friends know of my desire to have kids and have chastised me for it. They raise their eyebrows and say, "but is he going to continue working these crazy hours with a baby?" I politely nod and say "yup, probably for 5-10 more years." They're shocked!

Here's the thing, once again, I knew what I was getting into. I know that everything will fall on my shoulders in terms of child-rearing and household duties.. This is why I'm not going to work, well I'll work if I can work from home.

Of course this sucks. But I always knew it would. Yeah, it still sucks, even though I know. But I am at peace. I love my husband. I knew I was marrying a workaholic who had ridiculous career goals. I don't think it's fair to change him or judge him. Supportive is my middle name.

P.S. My pregnancy will be an immaculate conception as hubby has been coming home on average around 3 am.

Labels: compromise, marriage

Posted by Oni at March 08, 2007 | Permalink | Comments

This weekend was divinely delicious (minus hubby having to go to the office on Saturday). We escaped the City on Sunday morning and trekked to Santa Barbara, holding hands and enjoying its beauty while being in our own lovie-dovie world. Unfortunately on Monday hubby had to work from home; however, I simply enjoy being in his company even if he is working. There is a kind of joy having the comfort and ease to be at home while both of us are doing are own thing (especially because there are kissing, cuddling and sex breaks).

Don’t get me wrong, I was happy before I met hubby (I had and still have an amazing circle of friends). But these 2 and ½ years of marriage have brought me happiness that I didn’t realize was possible. It is very difficult to put into words why hubby’s love puts me in a tizzy of divine pleasure because it is so intangible.

Almost daily I think either to myself or out loud to hubby, “seriously is it possible for people to be happier or more in love than us?” [Meaning, how the f*uck did we get so lucky. In my sick mind, when will the Universe screw me over?] He shakes his head no and kisses me. Do all couples think this?

Labels: love, marriage

Posted by Oni at January 16, 2007 | Permalink | Comments