My husband called me yesterday to tell me that the plan changed and we would leave his family early Saturday morning. I was outraged. I said to him, "How can you do this to your mom? She never gets to go out and she really wants to go to this function! You best call her and tell her you made a mistake." My husband was shocked. I'm cool with the in-laws now.
My dad is not happy with me. This is how it went down:
Dad: Moon, when are you coming?Family, what a delicate balancing act.
Me: We leave for the Bay on Thursday night, but we'll see you on Saturday night.
Dad: Why?
Me: We have to visit hubby's family dad, we never get to see them.
Dad: What??? We don't have room in our house?
Me: Dad. You know hubby's parents haven't spent time with us for so long. They need to see us too. Please understand.
Dad: Alright. Fine. Bye. Here's your mom. [Pissed off]
5 comments:
oh yes, the ever-so-delicate ballet of balancing the in-laws with one's own family around the holidays. i seriously DREAD it more and more each time. the situation has further declined with the birth of my daughter. six months later and my husband and i STILL are at a loss as to best balance our time to give everyone "equal mikaela time". my mom is single and she has no family or friends here in illinois - which puts me in a VERY difficult decision when i have to leave her home alone to go see someone in his family. mikes family (his mom, dad and one of his brothers) are here in illinois. the best option would be for his family to invite my mom to their home so we could ALL spend the holidays together...but they are selfish jerks and that would be totally out of the question. they see my mom as a threat and an outsider.
your husband is blessed to have a wife who will actually stick up for his mom. as far as my MIL, hell i'd throw her under a bus. :)
HAHA Tiffany. I'd throw mine under a bus, too.
BC, your hubby is VERY lucky. I know all about how difficult the balancing is. And not only do I have to balance my mom with his mom, but also my dad and stepmom, his adopted dad, and his biological dad. This is why we eloped and why never have Thanksgiving at my house!
Does your dad call you Moon? My name means Moon in Indian, and I want my daughter's middle name to be Nokomis, which means "daughter of the moon" in Indian...
You are such a sweety! It was really sweet of you to think that way. And good actions from in-laws inspires us DILs to be sweet to them...
-Spee
you betcha!
that "balancing act" is more like wildly teetering back and forth between 2 extremes, trying not to go too far in either direction. i'm *somewhat* saved by the distance between my parents/husband's parents (both in the Midwest) but it IS hard, nonetheless.
good for you for sticking up for your MIL and to your parents! i try to remember that as my parents have had less and less parenting to do, the more they act like children.
go figure.
Wow. Knowing your history with the MIL, I am very proud of you. Your relationship is continually developing with her. We should all just stay tuned!
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