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Biological Time Clock Isn't Fair

My OBGYN congratulated me on trying to conceive at 27 because a woman's fertility starts to decline by her mid to late 20's. Biology doesn't play fair. Most of my girlfriend did things the smart way, in my humble opinion:
  • graduate from college
  • enter graduate school or go abroad (something I wish I did) or do something interesting
  • focus on their careers
  • become financially independent
  • take the time to grow, discover themselves
  • find a boy, dump boy because he's a loser (repeat several times) not settle for loser boy
  • maybe find suitable boy to settle down with and have children
Children were not even part of my equation until I found hubby and got married. I never thought about my fertility. I was more focused on finding a job that I actually liked. I believe I did things the right way, because now I feel emotionally and financially ready to have children. Luckily age isn't an issue for me, because I met hubby directly out of law school at age 24 (complete and pure luck). I think that's rare when living in a major city.

Should my chic, savvy, smart, and cultured girlfriends be penalized by biology for taking the time to be emotionally/financially ready for children and waiting for suitable partner to come along instead of procreating with Mr. Wrong or Mr. I Settled For? My one friend, S, is being penalized b/c she got married at 35 (finding super hot job and super amazing partner can take time) and has tried for 4 years to get pregnant to no avail. The doctors tell her that IVF is her only option. I'm happy to say she opted for adoption, of course she's on a 2 year waiting list. Biologically, we should all have gotten knocked up when we were 17, all we would have to do is look at a penis to get impregnated.

Lesson learned: teenage pregnancy is a good thing**

**I'm being cheeky, but I didn't have to tell you that.

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Posted by Oni on Saturday, March 31, 2007 at March 31, 2007 |

good post. totally isn't fair. but i do hear of women having babies later on in age (30+). i wonder if there is some place with reliable stats?

Posted by Anonymous Zed | March 31, 2007 at 10:42 PM  

Oh Troll: I am a brown goddess. You made me feel so good today. I know you're obsessed with me and addicted to this blog. Enjoy masturbating over my words and fantasizing about my brown bod.

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | April 1, 2007 at 10:48 AM  

Troll: Why don't you tell us exactly where BC lives and works since you pretend to know so much about her?

Did you become God overnight? I don't think heaven allows trolls.

Since you work with BC's husband why don't you tells us what he's currently working on, it common knowledge at his place of work.

I know all of this because I actually know BC.

Oh, you can't tell us anything b/c you're nothing but pathetic lonely girl. Poor thing. Go away and stop coming to her blog, you sick b*tch.

Posted by Anonymous Priscilla | April 1, 2007 at 11:00 AM  

To each her own...

Posted by Anonymous Rush | April 1, 2007 at 5:47 PM  

Rush: I agree with "to each her own." Freedom of choice gets a bit skewed by biology, not always of course. I just wish that my fertility did not start decreasing until my late 30's.

Roonie: You're hilarious.

Zed: I'm so tired of my OBGYN and her damn fertility statistics. I feel like a farm animal.

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | April 1, 2007 at 6:13 PM  

funny i should read this post today... there is an article in the NY Times magazine about the lengths women will go through to conceive. (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/01/magazine/01wwlnlede.t.html?ref=magazine)


27 is "early" although not as our biology might compel us to procreate. indian parents do a great job of passing on a very linear model to their children, especially girls, which is the "education---> employment---> marriage---> parenthood" model. what they, and we, don't count on is that sometimes one or more of those takes longer than we anticipate so the timeline is drawn out. definitely not ideal from a biological standpoint.

but we all know that having a baby is just one small part in the raising of a child. seems to me i'd rather take my chances with conception than with parenthood.

and Troll-- this ain't a bridge! find someother place to lurk.

Posted by Anonymous kit and kumari | April 2, 2007 at 2:08 PM  

LB: Still waiting:(

K&K: "seems to me i'd rather take my chances with conception than with parenthood." you summed up the issue so succinctly. girl, you have a way with words.

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | April 2, 2007 at 3:46 PM  

My hubby and I did things the "wrong" way. And I've never been happier. My new Father-in-Law was very rude to me last week about how wrong our way was... Having baby rather than seeking career/ making big money. He implied that I have a lesser life because of it. But I completely disagree. My life is perfect. Not sure what I'm getting at... Just fuming about my FIL.

Your day will come. I know it.

Posted by Anonymous It will pass... | April 2, 2007 at 5:00 PM  

It Will Pass: I'm so sorry. This is your life and he has no right to pass judgment. What happened to being supportive?

Posted by Anonymous Bengali Chick | April 2, 2007 at 5:07 PM  

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