Manifest My Desire

Mental hunger.  I was never actually physically hungry.  I learned a powerful lesson, my body doesn't need as much food as I desire or fantasize about.  I just love food.  Nothing makes me happier than a tasting menu at the finest restaurants. During this cleanse I fantasized about eating just about everything.  If it wasn't for my good friend CC who did the cleanse with me, I would have quit.

The first day after the cleanse I grabbed my ergo and my 20+ pound baby and hiked Runyon Canyon.  It was a quick hour workout on a steep incline.  Although I hadn't eaten in three days, the hike was easy. I felt strong.  Clearly my body was able to do a moderate hike on 3 days of juice.

Shit.  I over consume.  I never realized I was mentally hungry because I work so incredibly hard to be healthy.  I do yoga, pilates, and hiking at least 4-5 times a week, I eat super healthy and I have a clean bill of health and a small percentage of body fat.  But I would also love to eat an entire bag of cheetoes or curly fries... or just about anything salty or sweet.

Shit.  I'm mentally hungry.  I have a demon.

My dad died from eating crap.  He developed diabetes that he allowed to spiral so out of control that his kidneys shut down.  He ended up on dialysis,  followed by a transplant, cancer and a terrible death.  I've never seen someone inhale a bag of chips like my dad.  He was always mentally hungry.

After his death I vowed to be healthy and strong.  I was never going to go out like that.  So I eat organic nutritious foods and am in crazy good shape.... yet,  I'm still mentally hungry.  Profound realization for me.

I need to meditate daily.  I also need to challenge myself like this at least twice a year.  I'll conquer mental hunger.

Labels: cleanse, detox

Posted by Oni at March 28, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

I used to think cleanses or detoxes were a fad or a quick way to fit into a tight ass dress. I was so incredibly wrong. In a nutshell, cleansing allows your body to get rid of all the crap that it never gets a chance to get to because it is digesting the food you consume daily. A good analogy to cleansing is cleaning house. I never have a chance to deep clean, I barely have time to keep up with the day to day. Thank goodness I have someone who comes to my house to deep clean; otherwise, it would look kinda superficially clean even though it was really dirty.

Juice cleanses can cost a lot of money (usually at least $140 for a 3 day cleanse, if not $250). In the spirit of cheapness, my friend and I are making our own juices in the vitamix by straining out the fiber. We used blue print cleanse recipes. While many purists believe cold pressed juice is best, my good friend and registered dietician believes our bodies can only absorb a certain amount of nutrients and the nutrients in the juice extracted through a vitamix is just fine.

I drank 5 juices today and 2 liters of water. I feel nauseous, light headed and high (floating on air). I am skipping yoga during the cleanse (my usual hatha yoga is too intense) and sticking to light stretching.

Observations:  My meditation tonight was way more intense. There is an overall feeling of peace.

Labels: cleanse, detox

Posted by Oni at March 21, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

Wow. Just wow. It is kitchen appliance extraordinaire. It's not just a blender, it actually helps me live a healthier life. Is the cost justified? Absolutely, hands down. I am pretty cheap and even I was ready to spend $500 after doing research and talking to friends who own a vitamix. Luckily I was able to get one for $380 at costco. Regardless, It's worth every cent. I use my vitamix throughout the day.

I make green smoothies with kale, chard, beet greens, etc. on a daily basis. The greens are pulverized and my smoothie is silky smooth. No chunks or pieces of leaves! Silky smooth -- it's unbelievable. This means that even with the craziness of three kids I still get to have a delicious glass or two of a nutritiously dense smoothie. I'm talking 2 to 3 cups of kale or other green leafy vegetable in a smoothie.



Basic green smoothie:
1 small apple
1 lemon (I like to take the skin off, remove seeds and put into vitamix; or you could just squeeze the juice)
Ginger (I use an inch)
2 handfuls of kale (removing stems is ideal)
Turmeric or cayenne pepper
Water
(Jalapeño because I like mine spicy)

I even made ice cream today that my kids went bananas over. The vitamix pulverizes ice and frozen fruits! The consistency was that of frozen yogurt (not the soft serve variety). Very much reminded me of turkey hill frozen yogurt.


Strawberry ice cream:
1 frozen banana (slice before freezing ripe bananas)
handful frozen strawberries
splash or two of cashew milk

I just mentioned cashew milk in the recipe above. I never really understood the nut milk hype. It tasted pretty bland at the grocery store. The homemade stuff is completely different. Creamy. Decadent. Sweet. Satisfying. The recipe for cashew milk is insanely easy.


Cashew milk:
1 cup cashews
3 cups milk

I enjoyed a delicious cashew milk green smoothie today. The cashew milk provided all the sweet I needed. Toddlers and baby approved.


Breakfast smoothie:
1 cup cashew milk
Water as needed
Handful frozen strawberries
2-3 cups spinach
1/4 cup oats

Next week I will be doing spring juice detox with my vitamix. Buying juices for a cleanse in LA, if you actually pick up the juices, costs a minimum of $75 based on my research. No thanks!!

My vitamix has paid for itself. I'm completely obsessed.

p.s.  Vitamix makes awesome margaritas!!!


Strawberry margarita:
1 bag of frozen organic strawberries
4 limes (remove skin)
6 shots of tequila
3-4 tablespoons agave
2 glasses ice
(3 servings)

Labels: Food, recipes, Vitamix

Posted by Oni at March 16, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

I loosely used this recipe for inspiration.  I had mahi mahi on hand.  I subbed the cocunut milk for cocunut butter (not the same as as coconut oil). 

Sauteed onion in coconut oil.  Added panch poran (bengali 5 seeds). Added garlic.  When everything got aromatic I added curry powder (sorry mom!).  Once I could smell the curry, I added 2 tablespoons of coconut butter.  Then I followed the recipe.  Salt & pepper to taste. 

V, my husband who is american born indian, walked in and exclaimed, "oh gawd, why does it smell like curry??"  He has lost all indian rights.

I would absolutely make this again.  Easy and quite flavorful.

Labels: fish, Food, indian

Posted by Oni at March 10, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

I adore going to the farmers market with all 3 kids in tow. 

Great find:  saint benoit yogurt (its made from sweet Jersey whole milk and the lemon meyer is out of control).  I'm in love!!!  They sell their products in returnable clay and glass jars.  Heavenly!!!

Labels: farmers market, Food

Posted by Oni at March 10, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

With my New England sensibilities, everything about the business in LA scared the shit out of me. I had visions of my twin girls smoking meth at 5 while critiquing their bodies. Plus, we moved to DC when the girls were 6 weeks old. So I never considered sending my kids for entertainment gigs.

But then we moved back to LA (yay!!!). I got approached often by talent agents. This usually happened at trader joes, I would get asked, "do your girls have representation? If not, here is my card." I tore them all up, it made me uneasy.

But I don't feel uneasy about sending A3's pic to agents. Maybe because he is a boy and not a twin, at 9 months I do not believe there will be any negative emotional repercussions or I've now met sane people in the biz. Anyhow, hells yeah, I want college money for A3.

I was told by friends that its relatively easy for babies to get work in LA. So I tried my hand by sending an email to a talent agent recommended by a friend. She was immediately interested in A3 and now he has a print ad gig on Thursday. This all went down in one day -- from contacting agent to getting gig -- how insane, this is a benefit to living in Hollywood.. $100/hour and a minimum of 2 hours.... I definitely never made that much even in college!! I was waitressing!!

This is all due to incredibly good luck. Lucky water dragon baby.

Labels: Biz

Posted by Oni at March 06, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

Clearly I was delusional when I thought staying at home instead of working and having a nanny would be a piece of cake. Wrong. Dead wrong. I mean I was so wrong that I must have been hitting that crack pipe hard without knowing it.

Oh.my.fucking.gawd.

How can 3 small kids make such a mess??? How can crumbs end up in every corner. My house looks like a bomb went off. A bomb!! I have to clean at 5 am or the late hours of the night to get anything cleaned. I spend my days interacting with the kids and somehow manage to accomplish very little housework. I may also just suck at cleaning. Regardless, I spend hours cleaning everyday and then the bombs explode all day and ruin my well intentioned hard work.

My husband, god bless his heart, is the cheapest man I know, literally. And even he has asked me to hire help several times a week because he can't deal. I can't convey enough how chaotic it can get. How did my mom do this??

A bomb!!!

I no longer have grandiose fantasies about being a super mom where my girls have sweet French braids, my house is sparkling, we go to the farmers market weekly and I whip up gourmet meals, I'm showered with fresh faced makeup, and the children have a full curriculum after preschool on reading, writing, trips to the museums, etc. I'm in survival mode. Not getting cranky and being zen all day is my goal. But the lack of makeup is killing me. These days I'm trying to look like a human being again. I just couldn't take looking nasty everyday.

Still, I'd rather clean up after the bomb explosion daily because A3 rock. I love chilling with them. They crack me up. And they are insanely cute. Cuddle time instead of working??? YES.

Labels: Home

Posted by Oni at March 04, 2013 | Permalink | Comments