Reality check

Clearly I was delusional when I thought staying at home instead of working and having a nanny would be a piece of cake. Wrong. Dead wrong. I mean I was so wrong that I must have been hitting that crack pipe hard without knowing it.

Oh.my.fucking.gawd.

How can 3 small kids make such a mess??? How can crumbs end up in every corner. My house looks like a bomb went off. A bomb!! I have to clean at 5 am or the late hours of the night to get anything cleaned. I spend my days interacting with the kids and somehow manage to accomplish very little housework. I may also just suck at cleaning. Regardless, I spend hours cleaning everyday and then the bombs explode all day and ruin my well intentioned hard work.

My husband, god bless his heart, is the cheapest man I know, literally. And even he has asked me to hire help several times a week because he can't deal. I can't convey enough how chaotic it can get. How did my mom do this??

A bomb!!!

I no longer have grandiose fantasies about being a super mom where my girls have sweet French braids, my house is sparkling, we go to the farmers market weekly and I whip up gourmet meals, I'm showered with fresh faced makeup, and the children have a full curriculum after preschool on reading, writing, trips to the museums, etc. I'm in survival mode. Not getting cranky and being zen all day is my goal. But the lack of makeup is killing me. These days I'm trying to look like a human being again. I just couldn't take looking nasty everyday.

Still, I'd rather clean up after the bomb explosion daily because A3 rock. I love chilling with them. They crack me up. And they are insanely cute. Cuddle time instead of working??? YES.