Manifest My Desire

 
We planned a last minute trip to Maui!!! My in-laws are going to watch the girls and the baby is coming with us because they are afraid he will wail as he is going through a mommy-crack phase. I'd rather go on vacation alone with my husband. We get very little alone time where we get to just be pals... chit chat about nonsense, eat too many snacks, binge on tv, take silly pics -- oh the pre-kid good times. Too much parenting and too little friendship building. Also, the kids get me feeling all maternal and not exactly sexy. So yes, vacation is goofing around, eating snacks, chillin, frolicking and pretending we have no kids. I suppose we can still pretend that we do not have any kids with just baby in tow... right?

When we went to Oahu we hiked ever single morning.  I want to do the same on Maui -- hike in the morning followed by a swim in the ocean.  I was concerned about hiking with baby in the ergo because my hips were killing me from quick hikes up Runyon Canyon.  For non-Angelenos, Runyon provides a quick 45  minute fairly steep urban hike.  So I went to REI and purchased a heavy duty framed carrier (Deuter kid comfort II) because if I could not do any easy Runyon hike, I'd surely have to give up my hiking in Maui delusional fantasies.  The carrier weighs 6 lbs.  It cost almost $300 with tax -- well for that price it had to work miracles. Wrong!! It was beautifully built but I hated it.  I could feel every extra pound and my center of gravity was completely off.  I for sure would have fallen on a steep or narrow path.  I returned the Deuter the very next day.

I then did mad research on hiking in an ergo vs. framed carrier.  I am a virgo, obsessive research is how we roll.  Based on scouring mommy message boards because I like subjective information, I had a new reinvigorated faith in my ergo.  Hands down people were gaga over their ergo.  These posts suggested wearing the ergo right at the hips and wearing it a bit loose.  Also, it was suggested to put the baby in the carrier on your back, pull up babies legs and do a little bouncy bounce to get baby's booty in the very bottom of the ergo carrier.

I've got a monkey on my back -- A3's little foot is sticking out!!

I made the quick adjustments and was able to hike up Runyon with no problems.  Nothing hurt!!  Sure, it was a workout, but no pain at all.  Then I did something psycho.  I decided to really put the ergo to the test. I put A3 (20 something pounds) on my back in the ergo and pushed A1 & A2 (about 70 pounds) in a double stroller from my house to the pediatrician's office in Beverly Hills.  I realized very quickly that Los Angeles has quite a bit of elevation.  The 8 miles round trip wore me out; but, the ergo was AWESOME.  A3 slept and would wake up and I'd swivel him to the front to give him a snack or a bottle.  He was 100% comfortable.  My muscles ached the next day, but not because of the ergo.

Update:  Baby and I killed hikes in Maui. Sure, the kid got sweaty and my husband was the pack mule, but my body felt great.  We hiked 5 hours a day to waterfalls, volcanos, geysers, etc.  in total comfort.

Labels: baby, ergo, hiking

Posted by Oni at April 12, 2013 | Permalink | Comments

I can't explain how good it feels to look at my basal body temperature chart and clearly see that I ovulated. I don't remember the last time that happened. Clomid has made me feel normal. I ovulated! I ovulated! I know that ovulation doesn't guarantee pregnancy but it's nice to know that the the drug worked and it induced ovulation. It feels good to know that I have a shot at getting preggo this cycle.

The only problem is that Clomid caused a cyst to form and burst on my ovary. Of course this all went down while I was at a conference for work. I was sitting at at a luncheon meeting and my stomach started hurting. I tried to ignore the pain. It became unbearable. I could barely walk out of the conference. The pain was crippling. I made it to my car and laid down in my car for over an hour. I mustered enough strength to drive home. I felt constant stabs in my ovaries and lower abdomen. Hands down -- the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. My ovaries because hyper stimulated. My abdomen was flooded with water. I've been home since Wednesday with such a distended belly that I could no longer fit into my clothes. Finally, today, the swelling is going away. My doctor is monitoring me. Utter. Complete. Hell. But completely worth it for tubby.

So it's yet to be determined whether or not I can go on Clomid next cycle. If the drug caused ovarian cysts than Clomid will be a big no-no.

The trials and tribulations of fertility.

Labels: baby, fertlity

Posted by Oni at July 14, 2007 | Permalink | Comments

So says my OBGYN. So says my 2nd opinion -- the Reproductive Endocrinologist.

Still, I have that little glimmer of hope that my body is ovulating. That hope is quickly fading...

Dear Dr. Morse,

Uhm HELLO -- I have a 42- day REGULAR cycle. Just b/c my cycle is long does not mean I do not ovulate. ALL of my test results came back normal. I conceived once before on my first try! This is my 2nd cycle of trying to conceive. I will conceive. Thank you very much.

Shove it.

Labels: baby, fertility

Posted by Oni at June 15, 2007 | Permalink | Comments

It has been exactly one month since I was at the OBGYN and received confirmation via vaginal ultra-sound that my baby died. Thanks to loved ones and all of your support I have been able to bear this pain. There are days where my heart is heavy and sadness comes over me that I can’t shake. Those are they days that I just want to curl up in my bed under a thick blanket.

Mourning a miscarriage is a private affair. I feel like I lost a baby, a baby that I deeply wanted. This baby was more than a mass of cells to me. I would have been at the end of my first trimester. I hope this gets easier.

Labels: baby, miscarriage, pregnancy

Posted by Oni at January 18, 2007 | Permalink | Comments

I've been battling with the idea of starting a baby blog separate from this blog and finally decided against it. This is my blog and bengalic chic is morphing into HOT bengali mamma bear and I don't want to administer 2 blogs -- one will surely get neglected -- so EFF that.

I heart my friends, but all of them are unmarried and certainly child-less. I needed a forum where I could talk to other moms-to-be and found justmommies today. I joined the August Due Date Club where other moms-to-be are going to be due in August 2007. How exciting is that? I love it! I've found an online community -- yippers skippers. I thought I was totally nutzo constantly worrying about this baby's viability, being scared shitless about a miscarriage, wanting to take a pregnancy test everyday just to be sure I am still preggers -- BUT talking to other moms, I'm starting to feel normal, espeically after hearing similar feelings from other pregnant ladies. Maybe we're all a little hormonal (= NUTZO).

In other baby news, I puked a good 7 times in my office waste basket today. All I can say is god bless the privacy of offices. I'm a quiet puker, so I'm hoping my neighbor didn't hear my vomit-osis. Baby doesn't like soy milk in the morning and baby does not like it when I drink water after lunch.

I'm hungry as HELL today. I chowed down pretty quickly on my tandoori chicken and basmati rice, now it's all gone... *Sigh*

Labels: baby

Posted by Oni at December 05, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

This was probably one of the most miserable weekends of my life. Let me start by saying that all the pain and discomfort I am going through is worth it for the little one growing in my belly. Even though it's surreal that hubby and I have created a life, I am in so in love with this baby. I spent all of Saturday puking my brains out. Everytime I drank water I would puke it up. It got so bad that hubby and I went to the ER around 12:30 AM. The doctor diagnosed me with hyperemesis gravidarum which basically translates to -- hormones in body from baby causes puking one's brains out. I am deathly afraid of needles, yes I know, I best get used to it while being preggers. The nurse stuck me with a needle as I needed an IV... my hand turned so cold and it was utterly uncomfortable. I couldn't even look at the needle.

My Salvation: My best friend and her lovely advice. BF is a clinical nutritionist and she pulled out her notes from a maternity class and suggested that I try ginger tea and real gingerale. The ginger really calms down my tummy along with rice crackers. This baby is having a field day in my belly.

Then the cramps started last night. We of course called doctor sahib and he explained that it was normal to feel cramping in the lower left quadrant as it was indication of my uterus expanding. Baby is snuggling up inside of mamma-bear.

My husband has been an angel. He's taken such good care of me this weekend. Even my MIL and mom have been amazing. Both were willing to fly down as soon as I started the non-stop puking. I feel truly blessed.

I'm going to stay at home today and take it easy and hopefully tomorrow I will feel up to going to work. As much as all of this sucks, I am so excited that my little Benjabi is here (Bengali + Punjabi = Benjabi)

Labels: baby

Posted by Oni at December 04, 2006 | Permalink | Comments

One of the highlights of the holiday was a conversation hubby and I had with my MIL. The topic of baby came up as she knows that we are currently trying to get preggers…

MIL: Beti, are you, you know taking your temperature?
Me: Uhm, what do you mean?
MIL: Okay, every morning, first thing you must take your temperature EVEN
before you get up.
Me: Okay
MIL After 14 days after your period, your temperature should go high and then…
Me: [Holy Mother, what is this woman going to say to me…]
MIL: You have to you know, conceive the baby right away.
Me: Uhm, okay. Thanks!
MIL: No.This is very important. You and hubby maybe very late for work those
days.
Me: [When is this conversation going to end]
MIL: It’s important that after the conceiving, you must lay to your RIGHT side
and squeeze your legs tightly. The right side is very important!! Don't wait, first thing in the morning, you must conceive.

**All seriousness, MIL is pretty cool to talk about taboo subjects like sex! On top of it, my dad had to bring up my husband’s sperm when the baby came up. My dad doesn’t say sperm, he say spurum.

Labels: baby, family, humor

Posted by Oni at November 27, 2006 | Permalink | Comments