All I can say is THANK EVERYTHING in this Universe that hubby took the day off from work. I couldn't sleep before my procedure. I was up at 5 am. Nervous. Shaking. I was 11 weeks pregnant yesterday. My heart ached.
Dr. S only has authority with Hollywood Pres and not Cedars Sinasi. Uhm, Hollywood Pres is severely ghettofied.
I was taken into a room and an IV was placed in my arm. Dr. S was there. He could tell I was in complete and total freak out mode. I got wheeled into the operating room. It was ugly and beyond cold. The anaesthesia was put in my IV. A gas mask was put in my place. My face started stinging as the anaesthesia started to work. I though chemicals were being thrown on my face. I woke up immediately after the procedure was done. My vagina was sore and felt heavy. I was hysterical. I demanded to be let out of the hospital. I signed a waiver so I didn't have to stay a minute later. I just couldn't be in there. I thought I was losing my mind.
I was also very pissed. Dr. S couldn't wait for me to wake up and ask him questions. I had to call him and he said he would do the miscarriage work up and run tests on me and hubby to see if there are any reasons why we can't hold onto a baby. But he also had to add, "most likely we won't find anything." I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING TOLD THAT. I don't know why I need fertility meds to ovulate.. I am fucking 28 years old and in perfect health. I don't know why I can't keep any of my 3 pregnancies and once again I am 28 years and in perfect health. As soon as we got in the car I made a followup appointment with a different reproductive endocrinologist for a second opinion.
I cried all day yesterday. I took Prozac, Valium and Percocets and nothing helped ease my pain. I couldn't even pee b/c it burned so much. I can't have sex for 2 weeks and I really want to be intimate and feel close to my husband in that way.
I'm hope from work today. I feel like I'm falling apart. Time for my prozac.
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1 comment:
God, that sounds awful. I'm glad your husband was there and that you are pursuing a second opinion. I've often found that "the best" is not necessarily the best for me and there's a lot to be said for having a doctor who open with you and has time for you, even if s/he isn't getting the same press.
I'm sorry about your pain, both emotional and physical. I hope that at the least the physical improves quickly.
Thinking about you,
LL
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