I was at Blockbuster's in WeHo. I was taking my time looking at the back of the dvd boxes. Picking a good movie is a serious process. This guy looks at me. I know, he must have been staring at my curlicious locks. I ignored him and hoped that he'd continue on his way. No such luck.
Hipster: Do you know much about indie films?
Me: [I didn't want to get into a conversation with this man, color me anti-social] No, sorry.
Hipster: I'm looking for a German film about a government investigator.
Me: [I knew exactly which movie he was referring to... a fucking amazing movie that I saw at the New Beverly Cinema as part of a double feature.] The Lives of Others!
Hipster: See, you do know your indie films.
Me: Uhm no. That was just an amazing film.
Hipster: Really?
Me: Hands down one of my favorite films. I think it's over there (far away from where I was standing). [I go back to reading the back of the dvd box. I had helped the man. Now he could leave me alone.]
Hipster: Are you in the film industry? Do you make films?
Me: [Is this his pickup line, for reals? It's not like everyone doesn't try to use that line in L.A.] Definitely not.
Hipster: So where are you from?
Me: [Jesus, this question???] I'm Bengali.
Hipster: Wow. I've always wanted to visit. [Yeah right buddy bear.]
Me: Well, you should check it out.
Hipster: So is your boyfriend from there too?
Me: Actually, my HUSBAND [let me say it loud and clear] is Punjabi.
Hipster: [Taking a moment for it to sink in that I am not available] So do your tribes get along, or is there a lot of tribal fighting? [This man was dead fucking seriously]
Me: [I just made a face. There clearly was nothing left to say.]
ZONKERS, refound my blog (THIS blog) from 2005
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7 comments:
Oh my god, BC. I was already rolling my eyes that he didn't know the name of the film he was looking for (although he probably did! Who doesn't - and I agree, it was amazing), but the punch line was awesome.
I wouldn't even have known what to do. TRIBES?!?
LOL!
omg this reminds me of the time when we can out of the namesake! WTF!
this totally takes me back to us walking out of the namesake. WTF why do these guys think it's cool to speak to us this way!!!???
no fucking way...
next time someone asks you something that stupid, you can respond:
"well, they didn't before, but since his tribe gave mine 10 goats in exchange for me marrying my husband and the promise of a first born son, everything's been cool.
now if only we appease that angry volcano god with our virgin sacrifices...."
You should've laughed hysterically and walked away shaking your head. TRIBES? Are you KIDDING me?
Hey, I think I know "loveslipgloss"! I can only think of one other person besides you and I that would recall The Namesake night! HI LOVER!
Oy! Men are so freakin' tactless! I love kit'n kumari's response! HA!
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